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Wendy Cicchetti

International Astrologer and Spiritual Counselor

Sexuality and Compatibility

Venus and Mars

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In traditional astrology, compatibility and sexual attraction in relationships is indicated by the aspects to Venus and Mars and are considered quite significant. For a man, Venus represents the type of women he will be attracted to. His Mars however, indicates what he will do to achieve his desires. For a women, the position of her Mars represents the types of men she is interested in. Her Venus will show how she will present herself to attract them. There are myriad complexities within relationships and the following explanations are generalities which can have many mitigators.

I also look for tight aspects with benefic planets which can show strong magnetic points of attraction. When looking for true compatibility and longevity between two individuals it requires comparing several different components. No matter how much compatibility is indicated, all relationships take work. Within the framework of intimate relationship we learn the most about ourselves, and is where we have the opportunity to apply the highest we know.

Venus and Mars have other symbolic meanings within a chart, as do the Sun and Moon. The Sun represents the husband in a woman's chart and the Moon represents the wife in the chart of the male (the Sun also stands for the father and the Moon for the mother in everyone's chart).

If Venus or Mars is in Aries, addiction to the conquest can be a problem. The butterflies of the Zodiac, they like to move from flower to flower and can get bored easily. Sex is best when it's spontaneous and unrestricted. These people melt when their partner gives themselves to them innocently and purely. Their heads are erogenous zones—they love it when you mess up their hair and grab their face when they are making love. They can be rather selfish in bed, and quick. They can get impatient with too much foreplay, preferring to get right to the point. Sometimes aggressive, and generally fast, these lovers are sincere and enthusiastic in their sexual expression, but not always constant. Their desires are powerful indeed. While other signs may be most aroused by the romance of the moment, both male and females with this position fall in and out of "crush" easily—they only feel alive when they have someone to desire. If Venus or Mars is in Libra, they are givers in bed, extra care is taken to please the partner. These people can be provocative in a quiet way. Their need for balance and perfection in their relationships may manifest itself at all the wrong moments. In bed, these lovers want things to be balanced and they fully expect you to give to them equally. They love working on getting things right, and are especially turned on by role-playing sex games. They have a strong need for change and growth in their sexual expression. Although they can be pushed around for a time, their lovers must be aware that the best way to keep Libra lovers happy is to keep everything fair. These lovers can be a little picky when it comes to mood and atmosphere while making love (Virgo is all too often assigned this trait, but our experience suggests that Libra is the pickiest of lovers). Make them happy, however, and you have a lover who is going to think about you and your needs. These lovers can charm the birds out of the trees when they want to.
If Venus or Mars is in Taurus, these are the most physical of sexual partners, their sexual nature involves all of the senses. Touch and smell are supremely important to these lovers. No frills sex is quite fine, as long as the mood is right and there is plenty of physical contact. These lovers don't have a reputation for spontaneity or variety, but they are good at what they do nonetheless, simply because they are truly right there with you. Abstaining from sex is especially difficult for Taurus, so finding a regular sex partner is particularly important. Their sexual stamina during lovemaking is long-lasting and steady. Although generally patient, their style is natural and physical, and intellectualizing the sex act would only serve to baffle Taurus.
If Venus or Mars is in Scorpio, they are provocative but private. Most will never kiss and tell. Sex is intimate and personal for Scorpio, but their fantasies are full-ranging and their sexual nature can be quite complex. These lovers generally share a common intensity and depth in their sexual desires, but they vary in expression depending on their level of development. Some enjoy power and are attracted to breaking taboos. These lovers are willing to do almost anything, and they enjoy full-body pleasures. Others express their need for control by being unavailable and abstaining for long periods of time, giving in only when they feel their partner is deserving. Whatever their nature, they have a way that promises commitment and intensity in bed.
If Venus or Mars is in Gemini, these individuals are generally fun in bed, if you can forgive their sudden bursts of speech during the act. To you, an intellectual conversation may interrupt lovemaking, but to them, it's just extended foreplay. Sometimes given to trying too much in one session, these lovers are enthusiastic and curious about all kinds of sexual expression. Use words in bed with them. Talk turns them on, and they love to kiss! Oral pleasures are extra special for these lovers. They love role-playing, as long as it is varied. Still, many people with this position are not wanton lovers. The Gemini tendency to over-think brings up all of the "buts" and "what ifs" surrounding sex. They are less driven by their desires than they are by their intellect.
If Venus or Mars is in Sagittarius, sex games are acceptable, just as long as they are not too time-consuming or intricate. Sex is treated more like a sport. These lovers are direct and forthcoming with their desires and needs. They have an almost innocent frankness about them, and they love to have fun in bed. Laughing and roughhousing are huge turn-ons. They are actually a bit selfish in sex, and their need to "get off" will almost always be expressed. . They have little patience with people playing hard to get or beating around the bush. The same goes for too much seriousness or romancing. The best way to approach sex with these people is to just do it, and then talk about it after the fact, if need be.
If Venus or Mars is in Cancer, you'll get one of the most sensitive and sweet lovers. They don't always let you know what turns them on though, and expect you to intuit their sexual needs. Their style in bed is protective and soothing. When they're not moody or pouting, they are romantic and nurturing with you. They are turned on by slave scenarios, and they may like it when you're a little mean and aggressive in bed, as long as they know you love them. Some of them are turned on by the idea of making a baby, and others just love the idea of being all yours in bed. They are known as the sign most attracted to breasts, and they generally like their men rather masculine and their women feminine, at least in fantasy. If Venus or Mars is in Capricorn, they often prefer strong, powerful lovers who display some sort of authority or know-how. Sex that is straightforward and simple is generally best. The reputation for Capricorn lovers is an attraction to experienced, and sometimes older, partners. These lovers prefer a certain measure of discretion. Capricorn is an earth sign, and this earthiness shows up in lovemaking style—it's generally no-frills that is most appealing to these lovers. They can be quite happy with consistency, as variety is less important to them than is security in sexual expression. However, their sexuality is deep and powerful. They are often quite private about what goes on in the bedroom. Although some will want others to know that they are on top of things in their sex life, they generally won't get into messy details.
If Venus or Mars is in Leo, they will take care of their partners in bed, but their natural inclination is to get off themselves. Their tendency is to fantasy which often revolves around devotion and attention. These people are most turned on when their partner thinks they are gods or goddesses. Their pride in their lovemaking compels them to try to be the best in bed. While some want a mate they can show off, many prefer not to have two stars in the same household. They can be quite possessive and jealous, although they'll often try to hide this fact. In fact, they may put their partners to the test every now and again, and the more insecure ones will demand the world from their partners, if only to have them prove their love. They are prone to fibbing when it comes to love and sex, as they are out to impress their mates. It is hard for these people to separate love and sex. Even their most erotic sexual fantasies are infused with love and affection. They can sometimes come on too strong, and get impatient when their needs are not met soon enough, but you may appreciate their direct sexual expression, and their openness in bed.
If Venus or Mars is in Aquarius, they don't have a reputation for warmth in sex, although they may think the other way around because, at least in theory, they are open-minded. There is a "take it or leave it" style that can be sexy or maddening, depending on the audience. They give off an air of being savvy and cool in bed. Sex from a distance (when you are not actually there physically), or in theory, is often where they shine. That is why cyber or phone sex, or affairs that don't break up marriages, can be especially attractive to these folks. They are most turned on when you are not, as detachment can be a real turn-on for them. And, again, the idea of sex is generally more exciting to these lovers than the actual act. Their fantasies often involve getting caught having sex, and they are attracted to people who are a little offbeat or odd.
If Venus or Mars is in Virgo, there is generally a healthy attitude towards sex. Sex to them is a bodily function, necessary for health and general well-being. Everyday stresses and tensions are released in sex, whether it's with others or with themselves. Simple and sweet is the way they like their bed partners. They also get turned on by the idea that they are your slave. They love doing little things, and get worked up when they know you appreciate all the things they do. They can be a little insecure about their bodies, and they make up for it by paying close attention to their methods of turning you on. They are very respectful of your likes and dislikes, and focus on the things that have had the most success, they love imperfections and have the best time with a partner who needs care. They'll make a project out of you, and you will likely never feel quite so attended to with anyone else. They can be squeamish about body fluids and things that don't taste or smell to their liking, However, they definitely want to please and to be savvy at lovemaking. If Venus or Mars is in Pisces, these lovers are actually a bit like chameleons, it's hard to pin them down to any one style. They take a more subtle approach to flirting and sex. These lovers are generally open to all of the avenues of sexual expression. They are forgiving and bending, and they are generally willing to please. At times romantic and emotional, in general, they prefer nonverbal expressions of love and are attracted to imbalance. Self-sacrifice, compassion, and even religion can be mixed into their sexual expression. They may talk a lot one evening, and be withdrawn the next. They're very sensitive, but will almost always forgive you. They'll even let you go if you so desire, and love you forever anyway. Although they can be shy and yielding, their lovers can sometimes find them maddeningly detached and spaced. Their fantasies are intricate and detailed, and they are attracted to the downtrodden or needy.